We’ve all heard the advice: “Don’t worry about what others think.” But how do we actually do that? How do we silence the fears and doubts that creep in when we’re faced with opinions that don’t align with our goals?

In this post, I’ll share insights on breaking free from the need for external approval and focusing on what truly matters: your happiness, your goals, and your journey.

Why Do We Care So Much About Others’ Opinions?

As humans, we’re wired to seek connection and approval—it’s a survival instinct. Back in the caveman days, being part of a group meant safety. Fast forward to today, and while we’re no longer fending off saber-toothed tigers, we still have a deep-rooted need to fit in.

This instinct often translates into worrying about what others think. For some, it becomes a fear of rejection, failure, or change. For others, it’s about maintaining relationships, even when they no longer serve our growth.

The Cost of Worrying About Others

Worrying about others’ opinions can be exhausting and limiting. It holds you back from pursuing your dreams and living authentically. The constant effort to please everyone comes at a high price:

• Resentment: Sacrificing your desires to keep others happy can lead to bitterness.
• Lost Opportunities: Fear of judgment might stop you from taking risks that could change your life.
• Mental Strain: Living under the weight of others’ expectations can harm your mental health.

Identifying Whose Opinions Truly Matter

Not all opinions are created equal. It’s crucial to differentiate between constructive feedback and noise. Ask yourself:

1. Do they love and support me? If someone cares about your well-being and success, their opinion might hold weight.
2. Do they understand my goals? Advice from someone who hasn’t walked your path may not be relevant.
3. Do I trust them? Toxic or unkind people should have no influence over your decisions.

For example, I take my children’s feelings into account because they’re important to me. But that doesn’t mean I let their opinions derail my goals. Instead, I explain why I’m pursuing something and how it aligns with my values.

Why People Judge or Criticise

Often, criticism has little to do with you and more to do with the other person. People may judge or discourage you because:

• They fear change: Your growth might highlight their stagnation.
• They feel threatened: Your success could shift the dynamics of your relationship.
• They’re projecting insecurities: Someone who feels unfulfilled might lash out at those pursuing their dreams.

Understanding these dynamics can help you detach from their opinions.

How to Let Go of Others’ Opinions

Here are some steps to help you stop worrying about what others think:

1. Clarify Your Vision
   Be crystal clear about what you want to achieve. When you’re confident in your goals, outside opinions carry less weight.

2. Understand Your Triggers
   When someone’s comment hurts, it’s often because it reflects a belief you already hold about yourself. Identify and challenge these internal fears.

3. Focus on Positive Energy
   Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Toxic influences only hinder your progress.

4. Practice Self-Validation
   Instead of seeking approval from others, validate your own efforts. Celebrate small wins and remind yourself why you’re pursuing your goals.

5. Embrace Feedback Wisely
   Constructive feedback can be helpful, but it’s essential to filter out negativity that doesn’t serve you.

6. Take Action Anyway
   Confidence grows with action. The more you show up for yourself, the less you’ll care about detractors.

My Journey: From People Pleaser to Self-Assured

As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve learned that seeking approval from everyone is a losing game. Whether it was giving up smoking, starting a business, or even showing up on TikTok, I’ve faced my share of judgment.

But here’s the thing: I now focus on my mission and my happiness. I’ve learned to separate supportive opinions from those that don’t matter. And the result? I feel lighter, healthier, and more aligned with my purpose.

Questions to Reflect On

If you’re struggling to let go of others’ opinions, take some time to answer these questions:

1. What opinions are you most fearful of?
2. Whose approval are you seeking, and why?
3. How is this affecting your actions and identity?
4. What would change if you stopped worrying about these opinions?

Final Thoughts

You can’t control what others think, but you can control how you react. When you prioritise your goals, values, and happiness, the opinions that don’t align with them will naturally lose their power.

Life is too short to be held back by fear of judgment. Embrace your journey, surround yourself with the right people, and take that next step—no matter how small it might feel.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, let’s connect. You can find me on social media @StartOverWithsara or explore coaching opportunities through the links in the show notes.

Remember: It’s never too late to make a change, and it’s never too early to start over.

You can listen to a more in-depth podcast episode on this here and if you loved it please leave a review...just scroll down this linked page and leave your comments